I was looking over my blog today and realized, much to my embarrassment, that I haven't posted anything in over a month! Terrible blogger that I am, I have many times thought "I just have nothing to say" while excusing myself from writing.
Here is my blog about my projects and how to stave off the boredom of living in a northern place:
First of all, there often isn't much to do. I absolutely do not miss the rat race of having so many things to accomplish in a day that you are never finished but there are days here that are boring. Now I know I live in this amazing place where the land goes on forever but going out on the land by oneself is somewhat dangerous and it is bloody COLD out there. Often my weekends consist of a one shopping trip to our small grocery store and then trying to find things to do at home. To help me pass the time I come up with projects and read ideas about how to become a better person/mom/teacher.
Project 1: I have a guitar which I am trying to learn how to play and my father gifted me a violin before he died that I plan to learn how to play once I get the bow re-haired in my Christmas trip "down south".
Project 2: I have been reading about the evils of wheat from Dr. Davis' "Wheat Belly" book and have decided to change my diet to eliminate wheat just to see if he's right. This takes a bit more planning than if I lived south of here because our food choices are severly limited up here in the north. So I've ordered some of the ingrediants I need to replace the wheat and grains in my diet and will have to wait until my Christmas trip to get the rest of the stuff I need to replace wheat.
Project 3: Exercise. I miss running so much and yet all my efforts to get a treadmill up here have met with failure. However, I did manage to get an elliptical machine and I have purchased some Xbox Zumba games that I have yet to try out. The elliptical is very helpful and I am glad it got up here. I am very unhappy with the 15 pounds that I have gained back since I moved here and haven't been able to run. I am in the process of coming up with a realistic plan for exercise that will help me feel better.
Project 4: This blog (and we know how well THAT'S going).
Project 5: Come January I will be taking two university courses online for my professional development. I recently found out that the teacher's union here will pay up to $2500/year for courses for the teachers in their organization. Why isn't everyone doing this?? We talk about how lucky the kids are to receive free education but some of us aren't appreciating when we get it. So I am taking the courses to become a better teacher and less of a hypocrite. (I have decided on "ESL" and "Tech in Education - part 2)
Project 6: This is my most exciting one yet. I have been applying to interesting jobs overseas and have met with some success so far. I received an email recently asking me if I was interested in apply to a job in Brunei. I applied and did an interview with the recruiting firm in Vancouver and got accepted to their firm! Now I have to wait to see if the Brunei office is interested as well. I should hear by the middle of December, I'm told. So I may be living in a completely different place next year!
I should also mention that I recently was told that if I applied to a teaching leadership program up here to become an administrator in Nunavut, my application would be supported and in a few years I could move from teacher to administrator (Principal or vice-Principal). I have mixed feelings about this: First, it would be a great career move to move upwards into admin and I could change a lot of things I see wrong with the system if I was higher up the food chain. However, my goal was to work here to be able to go overseas so I could experience more of the world and gain a wider perspective on everything. So it's a tough choice. If I chose the admin route I would be 'stuck' up here for a few years, minimum. If I choose the overseas path I would be travelling and teaching but may never really change anything in the profound way I wanted to when I started this teaching career. I'm completely torn.
A word about the title of my blog: There is a lot of talk about project based learning in education and it's seen as the way of the future especially amongst technology-in-education types. However, I wonder at living a project-based life as a way of feeling like you are accomplishing something worthwhile and being happy. Just an idea I'm playing with.
Only 2 and 1/2 weeks to our Xmas trip down south! I cannot wait for a break!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
It's the little things
People are always asking me what it's like to live here in the Arctic. I tell them 'hard' but that hardly covers it. So I've compiled a list of things that make it hard and the reasons why the people who move north do it.
For those of you new to JustGolda, I should mention that this is the second time I have lived in an Inuit community. I started my teaching career in Umiujaq, Quebec which is a village of about 350 Inuit residents. I was a Secondary one and two teacher (equivalent to grade 8/9) in my first year and I stayed for two years before returning to northern Ontario.
This year I am living in a hamlet of 415 Inuit residents in Kimmirut, Nunavut. This is quite a bit further north than I was before and it's already getting darker. The differences between the two communities are more than I thought. People in Kimmirut are on average, friendlier and more welcoming to newcomers. Not to put down the people of Umiujaq because some of them were awesome. It's just that the ones that were racist towards us left a lasting impression and I have not encountered much racism here yet. Also, here in Kimmirut the kids don't throw rocks at my windows at night and that is something that happened a lot in Umiujaq. It's the little things... :)
OK, so here are some of the things that are different from living in southern Canada:
1) We have water tanks and septic tanks in our house. There is no sewage and water system in this hamlet so all of us need to get water delivered to our house. This is not overly difficult until the water or septic truck break down. If you don't get water delivered or the septic tank is full, you don't have water to use until it's fixed. It happened quite a few times in Umiujaq that people had to go for days with no shower or running water because of a septic or water truck breakdown. Another thing that happened in Umiujaq was that if you pissed off the person driving one of the two trucks they might 'forget' that they had to deliver water to you. Either this doesn't happen in Kimmirut or I haven't pissed anyone off yet.
2) Everything is delivered by plane. Everything. There are no roads up to northern communities so food, bottled water, soap, absolutely everything needs to be flown in. If there is a snow storm you have to wait for new stuff for quite awhile sometimes because the plane can't land. Here in this small place we go lots of days with no plane. Also, in Kimmirut we have a small landing strip so the only planes that can land are Twin Otters and they are TINY. This means that if I want something like a treadmill, too bad for me because the plane door is too small for it to fit in there. (This has happened to me this year already. I cannot get a treadmill delivered)
The twin otter
Inside the twin otter
3) OK, I lied because there is another way to get stuff in here. The sea lift is a huge ship that comes twice a year with goods. It is far cheaper to ship in bulk through the sea lift so really organized people order a full year of canned food on the sea lift and get it around the middle of October. This is also how they get ATVs and snowmobiles into the community. I have also seen whole houses delivered by sea lift. A fairly big box of space rents for about $500 on the sea lift so if you want a whole load of canned or dry food you can get it this way and save money on groceries during the year.
4) Most communities are restricted for alcohol so you can't just go to the store and buy it. You also aren't allowed to bring it in without a permit. Some communities are 'dry' so there is no alcohol at all. In those communities they sometimes don't even allow you to buy bakers yeast without being given a good reason because it's too easy to make alcohol with yeast (as if you couldn't do it by just fermenting it over time!) This is difficult for those of us used to having wine with dinner and drinks with friends. I must say though, it is incredibly easy to get around these laws and it's almost easier to get alcohol in banned communities than in restricted communities. I find so far that in restricted communities people make at least some effort to abide by the process put in place. I'm not saying that I personally am breaking laws, just that I know it's easy to do so.
5) There are things we just can't get. Some companies refuse to deliver up here at all. It's annoying. I will never understand why they won't just charge more for shipping instead of cutting us off altogether. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Avon Canada. You suck!) Other companies have started charging MORE for shipping than it actually costs them (Sears Canada).
6) It's quiet. REALLY quiet. When I go outside at night there are no sounds and it's a relief to the ears. There are no traffic noises, no background hum of millions of people, nothing. Sometimes when out on a hike you will hear the flapping of a crow's wings but aside from that, total silence. I love that.
7) It's cold of course. We need heavier winter gear. As long as you have that you are fine.
8) In this smaller community there are no cars. None. There are a few trucks, mostly owned by the store, airport and hamlet but there are no cars. If someone has a vehicle it is an ATV or a snowmobile.
9) The sky is alive. I don't know how to accurately describe the Arctic sky. At night, even when there are no auroras, the sky seems alive to me. It's an amazing sky and one of the reasons people love the north so much. It's also a wide open sky with no big buildings or trees to get in the way of the view.
10) Oh yeah! No trees! We have no trees here because we are above the tree line. I personally don't have any strong feelings about trees but know that some people are bothered by the lack of trees.
From my back porch
11) There are only two stores. The Northern store and the Coop store. The Northern store is one that is southern based (Winnipeg, I think) and has a southern manager. The Coop is Inuit run and probably based in Iqaluit although I'm not sure. At the Coop you buy shares and actually make dividends every year. Unfortunately, the Coop often has expired food but is cheaper overall than the Northern store. I'm very glad to have two stores!
12) It's often very windy. That wouldn't be as much of a problem if I wasn't driving an ATV instead of a car. :)
13) The culture is different and so you have to go through culture shock when you come up here. Culture shock usually consists of three main periods of time: when you first arrive you are amazed and enthralled by all the new ideas and think everything is great. Then you start to see the bad stuff and start to think everything is really bad. Then you come to the conclusion that your ideas of good and bad need to be adjusted and you come to terms with both your culture and the new one and can allow them to co-exist in the world without judging them.
14) There are polar bears. You in big cities may have to look around outside your door for drive by shooters and kidnappers but here we have to look around outside before we go out so that we don't get eaten by a polar bear. We also have to be careful when wandering around in this vast land to not run into a hungry animal. As the sign in Timmins, Ontario says "Bears are dangerous". ha! (I have always found that sign to be hilarious. Imagine...having to warn people that bears are dangerous).
15) Lastly, it's darker here during the winter. I am expecting in December, the darkest time of the year, it will begin to get dark at 2pm and get light much later than the south. We are closer to the north pole here so the summer will be brighter than the south. This isn't bothering me yet so hopefully we will get through it without too much sadness.
There are many other differences but these are the main ones. If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them. Later I will write about how teaching is different here.
For those of you new to JustGolda, I should mention that this is the second time I have lived in an Inuit community. I started my teaching career in Umiujaq, Quebec which is a village of about 350 Inuit residents. I was a Secondary one and two teacher (equivalent to grade 8/9) in my first year and I stayed for two years before returning to northern Ontario.
This year I am living in a hamlet of 415 Inuit residents in Kimmirut, Nunavut. This is quite a bit further north than I was before and it's already getting darker. The differences between the two communities are more than I thought. People in Kimmirut are on average, friendlier and more welcoming to newcomers. Not to put down the people of Umiujaq because some of them were awesome. It's just that the ones that were racist towards us left a lasting impression and I have not encountered much racism here yet. Also, here in Kimmirut the kids don't throw rocks at my windows at night and that is something that happened a lot in Umiujaq. It's the little things... :)
OK, so here are some of the things that are different from living in southern Canada:
1) We have water tanks and septic tanks in our house. There is no sewage and water system in this hamlet so all of us need to get water delivered to our house. This is not overly difficult until the water or septic truck break down. If you don't get water delivered or the septic tank is full, you don't have water to use until it's fixed. It happened quite a few times in Umiujaq that people had to go for days with no shower or running water because of a septic or water truck breakdown. Another thing that happened in Umiujaq was that if you pissed off the person driving one of the two trucks they might 'forget' that they had to deliver water to you. Either this doesn't happen in Kimmirut or I haven't pissed anyone off yet.
2) Everything is delivered by plane. Everything. There are no roads up to northern communities so food, bottled water, soap, absolutely everything needs to be flown in. If there is a snow storm you have to wait for new stuff for quite awhile sometimes because the plane can't land. Here in this small place we go lots of days with no plane. Also, in Kimmirut we have a small landing strip so the only planes that can land are Twin Otters and they are TINY. This means that if I want something like a treadmill, too bad for me because the plane door is too small for it to fit in there. (This has happened to me this year already. I cannot get a treadmill delivered)
The twin otter 
Inside the twin otter3) OK, I lied because there is another way to get stuff in here. The sea lift is a huge ship that comes twice a year with goods. It is far cheaper to ship in bulk through the sea lift so really organized people order a full year of canned food on the sea lift and get it around the middle of October. This is also how they get ATVs and snowmobiles into the community. I have also seen whole houses delivered by sea lift. A fairly big box of space rents for about $500 on the sea lift so if you want a whole load of canned or dry food you can get it this way and save money on groceries during the year.
4) Most communities are restricted for alcohol so you can't just go to the store and buy it. You also aren't allowed to bring it in without a permit. Some communities are 'dry' so there is no alcohol at all. In those communities they sometimes don't even allow you to buy bakers yeast without being given a good reason because it's too easy to make alcohol with yeast (as if you couldn't do it by just fermenting it over time!) This is difficult for those of us used to having wine with dinner and drinks with friends. I must say though, it is incredibly easy to get around these laws and it's almost easier to get alcohol in banned communities than in restricted communities. I find so far that in restricted communities people make at least some effort to abide by the process put in place. I'm not saying that I personally am breaking laws, just that I know it's easy to do so.
5) There are things we just can't get. Some companies refuse to deliver up here at all. It's annoying. I will never understand why they won't just charge more for shipping instead of cutting us off altogether. (Yes, I'm talking to you, Avon Canada. You suck!) Other companies have started charging MORE for shipping than it actually costs them (Sears Canada).
6) It's quiet. REALLY quiet. When I go outside at night there are no sounds and it's a relief to the ears. There are no traffic noises, no background hum of millions of people, nothing. Sometimes when out on a hike you will hear the flapping of a crow's wings but aside from that, total silence. I love that.
7) It's cold of course. We need heavier winter gear. As long as you have that you are fine.
8) In this smaller community there are no cars. None. There are a few trucks, mostly owned by the store, airport and hamlet but there are no cars. If someone has a vehicle it is an ATV or a snowmobile.
9) The sky is alive. I don't know how to accurately describe the Arctic sky. At night, even when there are no auroras, the sky seems alive to me. It's an amazing sky and one of the reasons people love the north so much. It's also a wide open sky with no big buildings or trees to get in the way of the view.
10) Oh yeah! No trees! We have no trees here because we are above the tree line. I personally don't have any strong feelings about trees but know that some people are bothered by the lack of trees.
From my back porch11) There are only two stores. The Northern store and the Coop store. The Northern store is one that is southern based (Winnipeg, I think) and has a southern manager. The Coop is Inuit run and probably based in Iqaluit although I'm not sure. At the Coop you buy shares and actually make dividends every year. Unfortunately, the Coop often has expired food but is cheaper overall than the Northern store. I'm very glad to have two stores!
12) It's often very windy. That wouldn't be as much of a problem if I wasn't driving an ATV instead of a car. :)
13) The culture is different and so you have to go through culture shock when you come up here. Culture shock usually consists of three main periods of time: when you first arrive you are amazed and enthralled by all the new ideas and think everything is great. Then you start to see the bad stuff and start to think everything is really bad. Then you come to the conclusion that your ideas of good and bad need to be adjusted and you come to terms with both your culture and the new one and can allow them to co-exist in the world without judging them.
14) There are polar bears. You in big cities may have to look around outside your door for drive by shooters and kidnappers but here we have to look around outside before we go out so that we don't get eaten by a polar bear. We also have to be careful when wandering around in this vast land to not run into a hungry animal. As the sign in Timmins, Ontario says "Bears are dangerous". ha! (I have always found that sign to be hilarious. Imagine...having to warn people that bears are dangerous).
15) Lastly, it's darker here during the winter. I am expecting in December, the darkest time of the year, it will begin to get dark at 2pm and get light much later than the south. We are closer to the north pole here so the summer will be brighter than the south. This isn't bothering me yet so hopefully we will get through it without too much sadness.
There are many other differences but these are the main ones. If you have any questions, I would be glad to answer them. Later I will write about how teaching is different here.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Leaving Kimmirut (temporarily)
My last post was so negative that I had to write this one just to even it out.
I am currently in BC, where I started from two months ago because I got a call two weeks ago asking me to call my brother and ask him to come early because if he wanted to see my father before he died it was imperative that him come immediately. I made that call and my brother left early to come down from his home in northern BC. When I mentioned this at work, several people asked me if I was going. At first I didn't even consider it. All the reasons: its too expensive, I'm a new employee and won't be able to get leave, etc. Then it occurred to me that this is not something you don't do because of money. There are no do-overs after death. So I bought a ticket and with the help of my principal, managed to get compassion leave from work.
I have to say this: when the chips are down, a small community in Nunavut is the best place to be. People who barely know me and have never met my father were making cards and praying for us. They have been so kind, all of them. People who have lost their own parents came up and hugged me and didn't say stupid things that don't help. Just hugged me. Because they know how much this hurts.
I'm in BC now and have been since Friday. My father isn't doing well. He is in pain and we know he wants to let go. He is scared and it's hard to see but I'm glad I am getting to spend this time with him and will be able to say goodbye.
It seems so unfair. A man like my father, having to die this painful and undignified death. In this day and age of men who don't take responsibility.... My father was a man who always took care of his family first. He went to work his sheet metal job while my mother took care of their five kids. They were both strict parents, took us to church every week, upheld high standards for us, always behaved well in front of us kids. No swearing, drinking, drugs, etc. They both worked hard and were always there for us. I grew up not even knowing how awful life could have been if I didn't have my parents because they didn't let us see the hard things in life until later.
Originally this post was going to be about how much I appreciated the support I got in Kimmirut before I left but I see it's morphing into something else. I will wrap it up by saying tht this is one of the hardest things I've had to go through and the support I received from almost strangers was touching. I will be back in Kimmirut on Tuesday and will pick up where I left off.
I am currently in BC, where I started from two months ago because I got a call two weeks ago asking me to call my brother and ask him to come early because if he wanted to see my father before he died it was imperative that him come immediately. I made that call and my brother left early to come down from his home in northern BC. When I mentioned this at work, several people asked me if I was going. At first I didn't even consider it. All the reasons: its too expensive, I'm a new employee and won't be able to get leave, etc. Then it occurred to me that this is not something you don't do because of money. There are no do-overs after death. So I bought a ticket and with the help of my principal, managed to get compassion leave from work.
I have to say this: when the chips are down, a small community in Nunavut is the best place to be. People who barely know me and have never met my father were making cards and praying for us. They have been so kind, all of them. People who have lost their own parents came up and hugged me and didn't say stupid things that don't help. Just hugged me. Because they know how much this hurts.
I'm in BC now and have been since Friday. My father isn't doing well. He is in pain and we know he wants to let go. He is scared and it's hard to see but I'm glad I am getting to spend this time with him and will be able to say goodbye.
It seems so unfair. A man like my father, having to die this painful and undignified death. In this day and age of men who don't take responsibility.... My father was a man who always took care of his family first. He went to work his sheet metal job while my mother took care of their five kids. They were both strict parents, took us to church every week, upheld high standards for us, always behaved well in front of us kids. No swearing, drinking, drugs, etc. They both worked hard and were always there for us. I grew up not even knowing how awful life could have been if I didn't have my parents because they didn't let us see the hard things in life until later.
Originally this post was going to be about how much I appreciated the support I got in Kimmirut before I left but I see it's morphing into something else. I will wrap it up by saying tht this is one of the hardest things I've had to go through and the support I received from almost strangers was touching. I will be back in Kimmirut on Tuesday and will pick up where I left off.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Culture Shock
Hello there, readers. I must apologize for not writing for so long. Most of the time I have been here I have had limited acces to the internet and didn't even have a phone for 3 weeks. It's been a rough start.
I think in my first post since I moved to Kimmirut I want to talk about culture shock. I had been under the mistaken assumption that because I worked in an Inuit village before, I would not have to go through the same culture shock. However, I am discovering that you DO have to go through it all over again when you come back.
Things are tough here for several reasons: First of all, there is a complete lack of access to things you are used to being able to access. Alcohol is prohibited or severly restricted, all goods are limited to what can fit into the small stores up here and a lot of companies either charge exhorbitant prices for shipping or simply refuse to ship up here at all. A second challenge is the lack of respect students show to teachers. I wouldnt even say it's a lack of respect, it's more of a contempt. For someone who has mostly gotten along with students and classes, this was a tough one for me. Things I say in class are largely ignored and when I explain how inappropriate this is, they laugh at me. Thirdly, it is shocking what kids do here on their free time. The other day I went to the daycare to drop off my son and the kids had stomped holes in the steps and the patio of the daycare. Of all buildings to destroy, the daycare? My cultural assumption is that this behaviour is disgusting. Not inappropriate, disgusting.
So I should say that not everything is bad. I have been holding back on writing this blog because I didnt want to come across as ranting or putting down the culture I have chosen to live in. I guess that didn't work out very well, did it? Back to the good things: I find that you develop different interests up here. I have become interested in tea since wine tasting is largely unavailable. Since I don't usually have the internet I have decided to buy movies and watch what everyone else used to talk about. I didnt watch movies before because my attention span is too small. Another good thing about this particular village is the people. They have been very welcoming and friendly. The arctic is very silent and clean too. The air is without pollution and when you go outside you hear silence instead of the steady hum of traffic and people. I was hoping to go out on the land more often but that has been difficult because polar bears are all over the place and we are advised to only go out with a rifle. I dont own one so I havent gone too far.
This last two weeks have been difficult as the realities of teaching a grade 7 class in an Inuit village set in. I have even, for the first time in my career, seriously considered leaving before my contract is over. This week was so difficult that I told the principal I was considering leaving! Since then I have gotten some more support and a lot of suggestions from my colleagues and all of that has helped tremendously (which is why I am typing a blog instead of packing my boxes).
Well...I should get to preparing for the day so that I can finish my friday. You know what would be nice? A beer at a pub after work today! Ha! Happy friday to all.
I think in my first post since I moved to Kimmirut I want to talk about culture shock. I had been under the mistaken assumption that because I worked in an Inuit village before, I would not have to go through the same culture shock. However, I am discovering that you DO have to go through it all over again when you come back.
Things are tough here for several reasons: First of all, there is a complete lack of access to things you are used to being able to access. Alcohol is prohibited or severly restricted, all goods are limited to what can fit into the small stores up here and a lot of companies either charge exhorbitant prices for shipping or simply refuse to ship up here at all. A second challenge is the lack of respect students show to teachers. I wouldnt even say it's a lack of respect, it's more of a contempt. For someone who has mostly gotten along with students and classes, this was a tough one for me. Things I say in class are largely ignored and when I explain how inappropriate this is, they laugh at me. Thirdly, it is shocking what kids do here on their free time. The other day I went to the daycare to drop off my son and the kids had stomped holes in the steps and the patio of the daycare. Of all buildings to destroy, the daycare? My cultural assumption is that this behaviour is disgusting. Not inappropriate, disgusting.
So I should say that not everything is bad. I have been holding back on writing this blog because I didnt want to come across as ranting or putting down the culture I have chosen to live in. I guess that didn't work out very well, did it? Back to the good things: I find that you develop different interests up here. I have become interested in tea since wine tasting is largely unavailable. Since I don't usually have the internet I have decided to buy movies and watch what everyone else used to talk about. I didnt watch movies before because my attention span is too small. Another good thing about this particular village is the people. They have been very welcoming and friendly. The arctic is very silent and clean too. The air is without pollution and when you go outside you hear silence instead of the steady hum of traffic and people. I was hoping to go out on the land more often but that has been difficult because polar bears are all over the place and we are advised to only go out with a rifle. I dont own one so I havent gone too far.
This last two weeks have been difficult as the realities of teaching a grade 7 class in an Inuit village set in. I have even, for the first time in my career, seriously considered leaving before my contract is over. This week was so difficult that I told the principal I was considering leaving! Since then I have gotten some more support and a lot of suggestions from my colleagues and all of that has helped tremendously (which is why I am typing a blog instead of packing my boxes).
Well...I should get to preparing for the day so that I can finish my friday. You know what would be nice? A beer at a pub after work today! Ha! Happy friday to all.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
On my way to Kimmirut-wonderings
I am sitting in a hotel in Ottawa tonight. Behind me are all the goodbyes I had to say which was extremely painful. Goodbye to my daughter until Christmas because she lives with her father in Ontario. Goodbye to my father, which is likely our last goodbye. Goodbye to all the friends that actually bothered to say goodbye and goodbye to family that actually came to say goodbye. Goodbye to restaurants, wine, starbucks, trees, rain, rude mainlanders, and a lot of other things.
I am wondering so many things here on the cusp of my move to Kimmirut. Will I like it there? Will I get along with the people I am in the community with? Will I like my job? Will I get along with all my new colleagues? What are the challenges I will face that I havent been able to predict? Will the rain be too much for me? Will the dark in the winter be too hard to bear? Am I really prepared or have I been fooling myself? What will I REALLY miss? I have guessed the things I would miss and have tried to send them all up there but what things did I forget? Will my bags get searched at the airport or was I being paranoid? Will my son have a hard time in daycare or will it be okay? Will I be able to conquer the problems i had the first time? To be honest, last time I lived in the Arctic I tended to isolate my life from other people. I always do that. However, to get the most of this opportunity I need to stop doing that so I hope that I can reach beyond my usual.
Well...I need to get up very early so I should get to bed. Tomorrow I fly to Kimmirut!
G
I am wondering so many things here on the cusp of my move to Kimmirut. Will I like it there? Will I get along with the people I am in the community with? Will I like my job? Will I get along with all my new colleagues? What are the challenges I will face that I havent been able to predict? Will the rain be too much for me? Will the dark in the winter be too hard to bear? Am I really prepared or have I been fooling myself? What will I REALLY miss? I have guessed the things I would miss and have tried to send them all up there but what things did I forget? Will my bags get searched at the airport or was I being paranoid? Will my son have a hard time in daycare or will it be okay? Will I be able to conquer the problems i had the first time? To be honest, last time I lived in the Arctic I tended to isolate my life from other people. I always do that. However, to get the most of this opportunity I need to stop doing that so I hope that I can reach beyond my usual.
Well...I need to get up very early so I should get to bed. Tomorrow I fly to Kimmirut!
G
Friday, August 10, 2012
Going North in less than a week
Well...here I am, sitting in my parent's house in Chilliwack, BC in the middle of summer. Its gorgeous outside today and will likely be a warm-enough-for-the-beach day again. The birds are singing, the vegetation is lush and the people seem to be getting nicer (although their driving is not any better). This all leads me to the inevitable question: "What the hell am I doing going north?"
This happens every time I move anywhere. Near the end when people in my life are either clinging or pushing me away, when everything I'm leaving behind seems sad even if it's things that I hated while I was here, when I realize how many people I know and like, when the things I can get, things I have achieved and moments I have all seem bitter-sweet all of a sudden; this is the time when I regret leaving and wish I hadn't decided to go.
Don't get me wrong: I still need to go. If I had decided to stay here I would have felt trapped. Trapped by the mountains, the rain, the rude people, the high prices and low wages (comparatively speaking: my employer was generous but the price of everything is so high here). I would have wished I was going just like I wish I was staying at this moment. So I decided to make a list of things I will miss about the south when I am gone to Nunavut:
1) The availability of goods. - I am really going to miss being able to go to the store and buy almost anything I want or need. Some of the places I thought I could order from when I am in Nunavut actually doesn't ship to there. An example is Avon Canada. That is a company that sells beauty products and for some reason they have decided to stop shipping to the north. In small town Nunavut, there are two stores: the Coop and the Northern store. They are usually quite small and carry only so many products. An example of this is cereal: in the last village I was in they only had 5 kinds of cereal.
2) Restaurants - There are no restaurants, no coffee shops, no fast food of any kind up there. Fortunately, I am a fairly good cook but it is nice to be able to go out for a prepared meal every once in awhile. I remember coming out at Xmas time when I was in Umiujaq and heading to a pub after getting off the plane. We ordered chicken wings, fries and all sorts of other fried stuff. I was so sick!! After 4 months of having no fried food and no prepared meals, that kind of food made me very ill. So maybe it's partially a good thing.
3) Alcohol - I am going to a community where alcohol is restricted so I won't be able to get alcohol in easily. I will miss being able to have a glass of wine or beer every so often. I will be missing it especially on te 23rd of August when my divorce is finally through.
4) Fitting in - I know that I will be a minority and while that is a good thing for us, I will miss just blending in
5) Safety - I was fairly certain of my son's safety at his daycare here in BC. There are a multitude to choose from and I think I chose really wisely and trusted those daycare teachers without reservation. However, there is only one daycare in Kimmirut and I don't know them yet and no matter what I think, Im going to have to leave my son with them. Scary.
6) My family - I will be so far away! If my father wasn't dying it wouldn't be so hard but leaving them now and not having them there for me too is going to be really, really hard.
7) Fast internet - Oh I am SO going to miss fast internet!
8) Driving my car anywhere I want - This community where I am going is fly-in only. To be honest, I didnt miss my car last time and actually started to enjoy the slower pace of walking places and not having to rush all the time. So I am guessing about missing my car. Maybe I won't at all.
I think that does it for my list of things I will miss. As I said, they are guesses becuase Im not there yet and may not miss those things at all. Who knows. I may miss completely different things than what I imagine right now. In the interest of being balanced, here is the list of things I will NOT miss:
1) Rude people - as a result of being in a large place wih lots of people, many people feel anonymous so they feel free to be rude and obnoxious. In smaller places, they usually try to be nicer to everyone.
2) Traffic and bad drivers. I had a lady yelling at me the other day because I wasn't going fast enough for her liking. The reason I didnt go through the intersection was because there was a pedestrian there that she couldnt see. Rude.
3) Boredom - there is something boring about having everything right in front of you and never having any challenges.
4) Rain - Oh I hate this incessant rain so much and it's about to start again soon. I will not miss that rain. I know there is a lot of precipitation in Kimmirut too but it will start snowing soon. No rain.
5) Rushing - people rush everywhere here and there never seems to be enough time for anything. I spend entire days shopping for groceries, running to this store to get that bunch, that other store for produce, another one for other things. In the arctic there are two stores and you don't get too many selections so once a week you shop and it takes a half hour and then you are done. This lack of shopping will free up a lot of time.
6) so many people all over the place, crushing each other. - I know in canada we have wide open spaces and compared to other countries, we have a lot of space for each person. However, here in the south it seems so FULL of people. I am going to a village of 411 people and it will be quite different. Also, in the north there is more a of an emphasis on outside activities and outside is wide open. No neighbouring towns so there is just a lot of...space. I cannot wait for that feeling of freedom to kick in (after the price shock at the grocery store, of course)
7) Prices vs income - huge disparity here in BC. disturbing. My rent was $950/month plus heat and hydro. My car insurance, despite the fact that I have never had an accident, was $160/month and groceries were expensive too. Gas is ridiculous. In Nunavut prices are higher. $1440 for rent, no insurance and heat is included but groceries are supposed to be even more ridiculous. However, they are paying me $40,000 more a year so maybe it evens out.
8) Not having time - There is always a list in my head of 1,000 things that must be done and it never gets done because there isn't enough time. Down here in BC there just isnt enough time for things and it has been affecting me having time with my son. In Nunavut, since there is nothing to take up time except for work, I anticipate having a lot more of it. With the extra money Im making, I will have time to get that MEd degree I've been wanting to start.
Ok, this blog is getting so long and you people probably have little time too. So I will leave it there.
5 days to Kimmirut!
This happens every time I move anywhere. Near the end when people in my life are either clinging or pushing me away, when everything I'm leaving behind seems sad even if it's things that I hated while I was here, when I realize how many people I know and like, when the things I can get, things I have achieved and moments I have all seem bitter-sweet all of a sudden; this is the time when I regret leaving and wish I hadn't decided to go.
Don't get me wrong: I still need to go. If I had decided to stay here I would have felt trapped. Trapped by the mountains, the rain, the rude people, the high prices and low wages (comparatively speaking: my employer was generous but the price of everything is so high here). I would have wished I was going just like I wish I was staying at this moment. So I decided to make a list of things I will miss about the south when I am gone to Nunavut:
1) The availability of goods. - I am really going to miss being able to go to the store and buy almost anything I want or need. Some of the places I thought I could order from when I am in Nunavut actually doesn't ship to there. An example is Avon Canada. That is a company that sells beauty products and for some reason they have decided to stop shipping to the north. In small town Nunavut, there are two stores: the Coop and the Northern store. They are usually quite small and carry only so many products. An example of this is cereal: in the last village I was in they only had 5 kinds of cereal.
2) Restaurants - There are no restaurants, no coffee shops, no fast food of any kind up there. Fortunately, I am a fairly good cook but it is nice to be able to go out for a prepared meal every once in awhile. I remember coming out at Xmas time when I was in Umiujaq and heading to a pub after getting off the plane. We ordered chicken wings, fries and all sorts of other fried stuff. I was so sick!! After 4 months of having no fried food and no prepared meals, that kind of food made me very ill. So maybe it's partially a good thing.
3) Alcohol - I am going to a community where alcohol is restricted so I won't be able to get alcohol in easily. I will miss being able to have a glass of wine or beer every so often. I will be missing it especially on te 23rd of August when my divorce is finally through.
4) Fitting in - I know that I will be a minority and while that is a good thing for us, I will miss just blending in
5) Safety - I was fairly certain of my son's safety at his daycare here in BC. There are a multitude to choose from and I think I chose really wisely and trusted those daycare teachers without reservation. However, there is only one daycare in Kimmirut and I don't know them yet and no matter what I think, Im going to have to leave my son with them. Scary.
6) My family - I will be so far away! If my father wasn't dying it wouldn't be so hard but leaving them now and not having them there for me too is going to be really, really hard.
7) Fast internet - Oh I am SO going to miss fast internet!
8) Driving my car anywhere I want - This community where I am going is fly-in only. To be honest, I didnt miss my car last time and actually started to enjoy the slower pace of walking places and not having to rush all the time. So I am guessing about missing my car. Maybe I won't at all.
I think that does it for my list of things I will miss. As I said, they are guesses becuase Im not there yet and may not miss those things at all. Who knows. I may miss completely different things than what I imagine right now. In the interest of being balanced, here is the list of things I will NOT miss:
1) Rude people - as a result of being in a large place wih lots of people, many people feel anonymous so they feel free to be rude and obnoxious. In smaller places, they usually try to be nicer to everyone.
2) Traffic and bad drivers. I had a lady yelling at me the other day because I wasn't going fast enough for her liking. The reason I didnt go through the intersection was because there was a pedestrian there that she couldnt see. Rude.
3) Boredom - there is something boring about having everything right in front of you and never having any challenges.
4) Rain - Oh I hate this incessant rain so much and it's about to start again soon. I will not miss that rain. I know there is a lot of precipitation in Kimmirut too but it will start snowing soon. No rain.
5) Rushing - people rush everywhere here and there never seems to be enough time for anything. I spend entire days shopping for groceries, running to this store to get that bunch, that other store for produce, another one for other things. In the arctic there are two stores and you don't get too many selections so once a week you shop and it takes a half hour and then you are done. This lack of shopping will free up a lot of time.
6) so many people all over the place, crushing each other. - I know in canada we have wide open spaces and compared to other countries, we have a lot of space for each person. However, here in the south it seems so FULL of people. I am going to a village of 411 people and it will be quite different. Also, in the north there is more a of an emphasis on outside activities and outside is wide open. No neighbouring towns so there is just a lot of...space. I cannot wait for that feeling of freedom to kick in (after the price shock at the grocery store, of course)
7) Prices vs income - huge disparity here in BC. disturbing. My rent was $950/month plus heat and hydro. My car insurance, despite the fact that I have never had an accident, was $160/month and groceries were expensive too. Gas is ridiculous. In Nunavut prices are higher. $1440 for rent, no insurance and heat is included but groceries are supposed to be even more ridiculous. However, they are paying me $40,000 more a year so maybe it evens out.
8) Not having time - There is always a list in my head of 1,000 things that must be done and it never gets done because there isn't enough time. Down here in BC there just isnt enough time for things and it has been affecting me having time with my son. In Nunavut, since there is nothing to take up time except for work, I anticipate having a lot more of it. With the extra money Im making, I will have time to get that MEd degree I've been wanting to start.
Ok, this blog is getting so long and you people probably have little time too. So I will leave it there.
5 days to Kimmirut!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Endings
I have been meaning to write this post for a couple of weeks now but it is a difficult one to write. I am facing a lot of endings right now and it's been difficult.
The first ending was the one to my trip. It ended way too soon and I really wish we could have gone for longer and further. Right now I am back in BC and missing the tent. The outdoors, the freedom and the family time that we are no longer having is what I am missing (not the bugs) I fully plan on making that trip to NFLD next year and really hope it happens.
The second ending I will face is on August 14th when my cherished daughter (now 16) goes back to live with her father in Ontario. It rips my heart out every time this happens. I don't talk about it much but it hurt SO much when she chose to go across the country to live there instead of here with me. I miss her everyday and wish things had turned out differently.
The third ending I will face is the day after when I leave BC and head for Nunavut. Normally I would be excited about this but because of recent circumstances I am finding this hard. I will talk about those circumstances in a moment. The ending to southern life is bitter sweet. On one hand, I am leaving the rat race, the rude people that I encounter here in BC who are reacting to being afraid of other people all the time, the consumerism that I have been caught up in, the high price of living and low wages (comparitively speaking), THE RAIN, and the lack of quiet and solitude. On the other hand, I am also leaving a place where I can: use my cell phone, buy a coffee at a coffee shop, pay less for almost everything (compared to Nunavut), buy almost anything I want, go for a run at any time of year, spend time with family, and go skiing and swimming in the ocean on the same day(not that I ever actually DID that but I COULD). So leaving is bitter sweet when it comes to things I am giving up vs things I wont miss. I am excited about Nunavut because I know how peaceful it is in the far north. I know I will encounter people who are more like me, adventurous, brave, and with a different life view. I will also be around Inuit again and I really miss them. I kind of regret not going to Nunavik (northern Quebec) for several reasons too although by the time I decided to go north again they had already done their hiring for the year.
Ok, now for the final ending that I am having the most time talking about: my father. He is very very ill. When I decided to go north again he seemed to be getting better but now it is quite clear that he is going to die. Soon. I cannot even begin to express how bereft, guilty, sad, and desperate I feel about this. I wish with all my heart I had chosen to wait another year so I could be here for the final days and then for my mother afterwards. In two weeks when I get on the airplane I will be saying goodbye to my father for the final time and I cannot bear even talking about it. Not only will I never see him again, I will also not be present for his funeral because when it happens I will likely just have arrived in Nunavut and will be unable to leave. I am staying in my parent's house right now and the sadness here is palpable. It is a weight. My father has begun to give his possessions away because he now accepts that he is dying. (he was denying it for a long time, hanging onto hope that he could beat the cancer). Last night he gave his only winter hat to my son so that Brogan could be warm. The symbolic nature of this gift was heart breaking because it means he doesnt think he will be here for the winter. My mother is trying to be brave about it and doesnt really talk about how she feels but I see the pain in her eyes and the weight of sadness on her and I wish I could stay and help her after he passes. My brother is leaving as well (moving to northern BC) and she is going to lose everyone at the same time. It seems so cruel.
I don't know what else to say about all of these endings. I would be so excited for my new adventure if things were different right now. As it stands today, I wish I had made different choices in the last few months because this is very painful.
The first ending was the one to my trip. It ended way too soon and I really wish we could have gone for longer and further. Right now I am back in BC and missing the tent. The outdoors, the freedom and the family time that we are no longer having is what I am missing (not the bugs) I fully plan on making that trip to NFLD next year and really hope it happens.
The second ending I will face is on August 14th when my cherished daughter (now 16) goes back to live with her father in Ontario. It rips my heart out every time this happens. I don't talk about it much but it hurt SO much when she chose to go across the country to live there instead of here with me. I miss her everyday and wish things had turned out differently.
The third ending I will face is the day after when I leave BC and head for Nunavut. Normally I would be excited about this but because of recent circumstances I am finding this hard. I will talk about those circumstances in a moment. The ending to southern life is bitter sweet. On one hand, I am leaving the rat race, the rude people that I encounter here in BC who are reacting to being afraid of other people all the time, the consumerism that I have been caught up in, the high price of living and low wages (comparitively speaking), THE RAIN, and the lack of quiet and solitude. On the other hand, I am also leaving a place where I can: use my cell phone, buy a coffee at a coffee shop, pay less for almost everything (compared to Nunavut), buy almost anything I want, go for a run at any time of year, spend time with family, and go skiing and swimming in the ocean on the same day(not that I ever actually DID that but I COULD). So leaving is bitter sweet when it comes to things I am giving up vs things I wont miss. I am excited about Nunavut because I know how peaceful it is in the far north. I know I will encounter people who are more like me, adventurous, brave, and with a different life view. I will also be around Inuit again and I really miss them. I kind of regret not going to Nunavik (northern Quebec) for several reasons too although by the time I decided to go north again they had already done their hiring for the year.
Ok, now for the final ending that I am having the most time talking about: my father. He is very very ill. When I decided to go north again he seemed to be getting better but now it is quite clear that he is going to die. Soon. I cannot even begin to express how bereft, guilty, sad, and desperate I feel about this. I wish with all my heart I had chosen to wait another year so I could be here for the final days and then for my mother afterwards. In two weeks when I get on the airplane I will be saying goodbye to my father for the final time and I cannot bear even talking about it. Not only will I never see him again, I will also not be present for his funeral because when it happens I will likely just have arrived in Nunavut and will be unable to leave. I am staying in my parent's house right now and the sadness here is palpable. It is a weight. My father has begun to give his possessions away because he now accepts that he is dying. (he was denying it for a long time, hanging onto hope that he could beat the cancer). Last night he gave his only winter hat to my son so that Brogan could be warm. The symbolic nature of this gift was heart breaking because it means he doesnt think he will be here for the winter. My mother is trying to be brave about it and doesnt really talk about how she feels but I see the pain in her eyes and the weight of sadness on her and I wish I could stay and help her after he passes. My brother is leaving as well (moving to northern BC) and she is going to lose everyone at the same time. It seems so cruel.
I don't know what else to say about all of these endings. I would be so excited for my new adventure if things were different right now. As it stands today, I wish I had made different choices in the last few months because this is very painful.
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